HIKIKOMORI GANG LIFE


→ Jul 2014
→ Jun 2014

job employment tips: make a joke about chemically castrating yourself in a group full of attractive people 

i actually did this

→ Jun 2014 franksino:

so seb literally micro’d 3 disconnected players’ heroes to victory

like literally my life has been like this for the past few months except that my being badly mannered is getting in the way of me enjoying my success
→ Jun 2014

get owned subhumans

→ Jun 2014

the only important person is me but because i’m not experiencing any disparity of agency, choice, or capacity regarding social mobility, that statement isn’t a positive reinforcement of my validity as a person as much as it is some kind of weird confirmation that people like me will continue to exert influence and accumulate favor with the ruling hierarchies of this stupid world because apparently i cant generate social capital by contributing to a freemarket of ideas or actively generating content because the only capacity for social capital now it seems is contained emphasizing lacks or gains based on the uncontrollable predicament of being born who you are

recently i’ve been experiencing this incredibly old world concept of actually creating things for the purpose of being used. i really hate using the phrase ‘in my field’ but since im pretty much stuck in a career path that emphasizes a knowledge economy over anything practical and upholds conceptual development for the sake of concatenating with other really detached concepts in the hopes that some kind of insight about the world or our behavior will be achieved, i’ll go ahead and use it. in my field there’s no purpose in writing for usage. its low-form, uninspired, and lacks freedom for the sacrosanct activity of creation. still, the world operates on the necessity that good language be used to communicate efficiently and that good writing is a labor that encourages good engineering and craftsmanship

and more importantly, you can get paid for good writing

im really pleased that these opportunities have come up for me again, especially in industries that i didn’t expect myself to be in. knowledge economies are starting to suffer the same bubbling that we see in actual markets in developed countries, and i honestly find this site at fault for a lot of it. there’s too much attachment to discourse being some kind of window to the self, in that by having enough discourse and encouraging others to contribute, you’ll be able to establish a better sense of self, and perhaps find some validation in who you are as a person. i used to be like that too, and i quickly got burnt out and found myself in personal relationships where i believed that i was both a good person and a good partner because there was seldom a contention of discourse and i believed it to be the primary medium where my sense of self was best expressed and observed. 

however, i think i’ve gotten a better handle of who i am because i’ve decided that who i am is better expressed in what i can do and my capacity of doing. not in the sense that my content has a quality of self-expression or a capacity for insight in who i am as a person, but because what i can create is focused in accomplishing a task or being of use to people. i think we should all shut up and try to think of how we could make our causes work for people instead of work for ourselves.

i dont know i just got paid a thousand dollars for doing something i used to do on this site a lot 

→ Jun 2014 this site is so awful 
→ Jun 2014

forced gender reassignment for everyone who has and ever will type more than three paragraphs about game of thrones

→ Jun 2014

no one reads this anymore all anyone does is reblog that one taiyou matsumoto x uniqlo shirt so i can say whatever i want

i think people who say ‘bloody hell’ should be sterilized

→ Jun 2014

oh dear

→ Jun 2014
borngold: hi! i saw that you posted my song morning bath on yr tumblr way back! thanks for that!!! i just put out a new video + have been msgin it to people who've supported me in the past to check out. hope you dig! (can't embed or put links, so click thru to my blog if you want). sry tumblr ask is an awkward way to reach out. if you'd like me to send you other new things, respond w yr email addy + i will keep you posted! thx again for caring about my art - hope you are well + healthy. sincerely, cecil

hey cecil

thanks for sending me the message. i remember back in like late 2011/2012 when my internet girlfriend at the time sent me a link to GOBBLE GOBBLE’s myspace and i listened to lawn knives and felt very genuinely excited about ur music. at the time i was bumping teen daze too so i was really into this huge wave of cool canadian music that my internet girlfriend made fun of me for liking because i was born in a tiny town in florida and never went to a show without puking fifteen minutes into it, crying into someone’s phone and begging my mom to pick me up cuz i was so nervous. also she was going to dalhousie at the time and felt an extreme need to be protective of the canadian music scene to someone who left his computer on the same johnny foreigner album scrobbling it ad infinitum. 

essentially, i was disbarred from enjoying ur music and sharing it with the only friend i had at the time, which was lame but now understanding the kind of pressure she was going thru at the time, i can see why her neuroses would cause her to be so protective of something that was so definitive of what she was as a person. to that end, you should be really proud that someone was so invested in ur music, ur sound, to the point that they would alienate another person in a really strange and passive-aggressive way. like, i remember showing her ur pixies remix and she asked how i could listen to something so shitty and i just felt kinda hurt and pathetic because she was the person who introduced me to you guys in the first place

i remember wanting to go to your show when u guys were playing in Atlanta back in 2012 i think but i didnt go because i didnt have friends at the time and the only person i knew semi-well at the time was a woman who was seven years older than me and wanted to sleep with me which was a weird and fucked situation to be in cuz i got along with her boyfriend really well. also she and her friends facilitated a really terrible alcohol habit that ended up ruining my life a little. also i used to be an editor for a magazine and i had to work late that night OH wELL LmAo

anyway, i guess im telling you all of this because at one point i was really excited about new music and getting to know people thru music and befriending them. im not really about that now that i’ve gone through some painful circumstances and come to this understanding that people’s content arent indicative of who they actually are, and to place such emphasis on someone’s creation to the point that you hope it overlaps who they are as a person is almost sinful. essentially, you can’t trust music to do its job anymore and the listening experience, for me at least, becomes shallow and uninformative. its hard to enjoy music when you come to realize that u used it to try and understand people by it and the guilt that u gave life to facsimiles of people instead of people themselves is too much for me to deal with, personally. like, i used to be really good at relating people thru music and coming up with really solid comparisons and metaphors for sounds. i used to call ur tunes Marsupilami on ecstasy which is super lame but whatever

im a psychopath.

anyway, i’d be more than happy to pass along ur music video to my friends who are also musicians who i’ve lost touch with simply because i just dont listen to music anymore. i have a wooden ear now and i dont want to employ the vocabulary i’ve used to talk about music because hearing myself talk about music is like expecting a mule to whip its head up and say something cogent. 

we have two mutual friends on facebook (one of them being ryan hemsworth, whom i’ve known since he made shitty screamo and when he had less twitter followers than the dawgfather). feel free to add me whenever you want, though i’d advise against it because any content i put on there is just reminiscent of my prior ability to relate to people and make them think i was worthwhile or something

your friend in christ,

sebastian